During a recent visit to my family physician, where I was helping fill out some disability paperwork, my doctor mentioned that maybe since I haven't made any progress being treated as having generalized anxiety and panic disorder over the past 15 years that maybe they had missed something. She then proceeded to tell me she has been thinking I might have some kind of autism.

We didn't go into it much. I left shortly after she brought it up. I don't like long visits.

I have looked up symptoms and I seem to have some of the them. A lot of people have these symptoms too though. I think they are just a little different.

I do have difficulty in social situations. I am naive, so I have been told. I tend to take things more literally than others. Interacting with people is very tiring for me. I like people it's just hard to read them. I don't like being in close proximity to other people. It feels uncomfortable.

I am not so good with eye contact. Especially with strangers.

I cannot tolerate loud high pitched tones like smoke alarms or metal scraping against metal. It is really unsettling for me.

I have trouble with controlling depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Emotions are overwhelming.

I feel I have the ability to empathize with others pretty well. I am also no "Rain Man" that is for sure. I can't even memorize the multiplication table. I understand the concept just can't memorize it (I have no problems doing mathematical equations with a calculator). So I don't have superior intelligence by any means.

I never thought of all of this as a disorder besides anxiety and depression.

Medication and psychotherapy have been no panacea for me.

I would really like to improve the anxiety, panic attacks and depression. I feel like I'm running out of options. I don't want to be a burden on my friends, family and society anymore.

I don't want to just go to another doctor to look for yet another label telling me I am defective, unless it points me in the direction of treatment that could really help make the days easier to cope with. Maybe be more at ease with everything.

Could it help at all to be tested for Autism or Asperger's Syndrome?

If I do have this what good would a diagnosis do? I have read that this is better treated at a young age. I may be too old.

I would like to be in control of my emotions and be able to go to school or hold down a job some day.

What could be the harm of being tested? You say you don't want another label. Is that the right attitude? What if you are just searching for who you really are. Are you defective or are you unique-ly you?

Autism and Asperger's are usually first diagnosed in childhood but i don't know that it matters when treatment begins, many people are misdiagnosed before finding their true and correct diagnosis, and optimal treatment may vary.

In fact there are more government benefits for the Autistic (education and employment for one) and many different national support groups, perhaps someday you could become a leader in the field and even do research (not related to math since you're no Rainman. lol) since you are so gifted in articulation and written communication.

Get tested. You can get a 4 year college degree while you're thinking about it all these things.

Aislan, below is a site that is filled with hope and knowledge about Autism and Aspergers